Thursday, August 29, 2013

My Thoughts on the VMAs

Here I will outline all the things I thought about Miley Cyrus at the VMAs:

What's going on?
I don't have any

This may be because I missed them. But then I wrote about comic-con, which I also missed. But whereas comic-con was interesting in it's own weird way, I don't see how this is interesting in any way.

I guess it was weird. Or something.

I guess JT did something cool, which pretty much describes every award show in Hollywood.

Usually something weird happens at the VMAs, and this year was surprising in that something weird happened, which is not surprising. I still remember the good old days, when everyone was freaking out about Taylor Swift getting hilariously interrupted by Kanye West, who thought that Taylor Swift did not deserve an award that should have gone to Beyonce. (To be fair, he was right.)

But apparently this time something happened.

Miley Cyrus's thing was kind of gross

Okay, I did see that, and I did not like. Somebody needs to tell her that having her tongue out is not attractive, or slutty, or worth attention, or shocking, or anything. It's just a thing she does. And that's the whole performance. Like that tongue thing is "her thing" now or something. It's not, it's just weird. But hey if that's her deal, whatever.
It's called demographics. Which brings me to my next point.

Who gives a shit?

Now I don't want to come off as all high and mighty that I don't find this interesting. I just wrote an article for a news blog I work for about Ben Affleck being the new Batman. I'm in no position to comment on people talking about pointless things. But Batman is always interesting, a celebrity who is less famous now than she used to be acting crazy at the VMAs (which is kind of the place you're supposed to do it, really) is not new.

And what's with all this feminism bullshit? Suddenly we're having a discussion about sexuality and it's place in feminism? Don't get me wrong, that's a good discussion to have, but does Miley Cyrus have to be the framework? Maybe she does. I don't know. Again, I don't give a shit. You know what I do care about?

Didn't we literally just decide to blow up another country?

There it is!

Again, I don't want to come off as high and mighty, but how come nobody's talking about this?
Because apparently we really need to have a discussion about behavior that was clearly invented by a bunch of cynical perverts who manage a teenage girls music career to sell more publicity?
Well, again, I'm not one to point fingers, because I'm not the target audience.

Why the hell am I even writing about this?

What people are forgetting is that, to an outsider, Miley's like that one girl at a party. You know the one. Her behavior isn't really shocking or sexy, it's just sort of weird, and we're not going to talk to that girl anymore. It's so asking to be shocking that it isn't. But then, I'm not the target audience.

You know who I am the target audience for? The new Avenged Sevenfold album.

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